Thriving the Holidays

I recently came across a quote that stated, "A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.” As a therapist, one thing that I know for sure is that every family has some level of dysfunction, whether we want to admit it or not. My family is pretty close-knit, but we are just as unhinged as the rest of them! The holidays are expected to be the most wonderful time of the year, but for many folks, it can be the most anxiety-provoking, stressful, and triggering time of the year. Year after year, we might find ourselves in uncomfortable situations rooted in long-standing conflicts, differing beliefs, or continued patterns of behavior, leading to family tension or inevitable holiday fights. While we have no control over our relatives' behavior, we do have control over how we respond to holiday family turmoil and may even be able to handle this emotionally taxing time of year more skillfully.

Here are a few steps to consider:

1. Set realistic expectations: recognize that no family is perfect, including yours! Recognize that here may be disagreements or tension during gatherings. Understand that these issues are normal, and it's not your responsibility to fix everything. Keeping in mind the only persons behavior and emotional response that you can control is yours.

2. Practice self-care: Prioritize your well-being by getting enough sleep, eating well, staying hydrated, and engaging in regular exercise. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

3. Set boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries with your family members. Let them know certain topics or discussions that are off-limits or make you uncomfortable. It's okay to say "no" when you need to take care of yourself.

4. Focus on gratitude: Shift your mindset to focus on the positive aspects of the holiday season and the time you get to spend with your loved ones. Practice gratitude for the moments of joy and connection that you experience.

5. Take breaks: If you feel overwhelmed during family gatherings, give yourself permission to take breaks. Excuse yourself to go for a walk, find a quiet space to recharge, or engage in deep breathing exercises to help manage stress and anxiety.

6. Seek support: Reach out to friends or other supportive individuals who can understand and offer guidance. Talking about your feelings and concerns with someone you trust can help relieve stress and provide valuable perspective.

7. Practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques: Incorporate mindfulness exercises or relaxation techniques into your routine to help manage stress and anxiety. Breathing exercises, meditation, or listening to calming music can help you stay centered and composed during difficult family moments.

8. Be diplomatic and open-minded: When conflicts arise, try to approach them with an open mind and a willingness to listen. Focus on finding common ground and understanding different perspectives. Avoid engaging in arguments or escalating conflicts.

Remember that everyone has their own struggles and perspectives, and resolving family issues might take time. Ultimately, prioritize your well-being and do what feels right for you.